Refuge from the holiday weekend box office selections

Well, it was a record-setting weekend at the box office, with films such as "Valentine's Day", "The Wolfman", "Percy Jackson and the Olympians", "Avatar" and "Dear John" all posting decent-to-huge numbers, appealing to all demographics. What none of them, at least to me, offer was an actual decent movie to go out and see. Yes, I know "Valentine's Day" and "Dear John" were ideal date movies for Hallmark Card Day, "Percy Jackson" isn't aimed at 41 year olds and if you don't like "Avatar", you're a supporter of Al-Qaeda. But it still doesn't change the fact that the first three films mentioned were pretty roundly trashed by critics and the latter, well, I simply didn't care for. Why no mention of "The Wolfman"? Simple: I did see it and walked away pretty disappointed. Not an outright bomb, but a film that had plenty of potential that got pissed away in a torrent of production issues.

Today is Monday, February 15th, which is President's Day. A majority of us do have the day off. And if you don't have plans and were thinking that a movie might be a good way to spend a couple of the holiday's hours, what does one choose? Seeing "Valentine's Day" is about as fresh an idea as watching "A Christmas Carol" and "Dear John" should only be a choice if you're planning some post-Valentine's Day sex with your date. "The Wolfman" you should wait for home video to see if an extended version will help the film, while if you're going to see "Percy Jackson" without kids, you might want to be careful that the ushers don't take a picture of you to send to the National Sex Offenders registry for profiling. As for "Avatar", if you haven't seen it and want to, 3-D is the only way to fly (can't wait to hear the backlash when the film hits home video in 2-D).

The following are a few alternatives you might want to consider if you were in the mood for any of the above. Since they are all on home video, they are instantly cheaper alternatives and you don't have to deal with the crowds either.

Instead of "Valentine's Day", how about...

"(500) Days of Summer" or "Love Actually": Richard Curtis' 2004 box office hit would be the ideal substitute given its large cast of British stars (and a few Americans thrown in for good measure) and focus on the joys of romance around a holiday (albeit Christmas). But if you have already seen that and want something a little more current and shorter, then check out Marc Webb's inventive and very enjoyable comedy starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel.

Instead of "Dear John", how about....

"The English Patient" or "Out of Africa". I'm sure that the two Oscar winners have nothing in common with the teenage weepie aside from having a male and female lead attempting a romantic relationship despite huge obstacles (like a war). But hey, if you're going to watch a romantic tearjerker with your mate, why not make it one that won't make you cringe (as most films directed by Lasse Hallstrom do) and one that earns its tears instead of manipulating them out of you.

Instead of "Percy Jackson", how about...

Any of the "Harry Potter" films outside of the first two? Okay, if you're planning on taking the kids to see "Percy", you need to come to terms with two things. The first is that deciding not to take the kids to the film is probably a lesson in futility. The other is that your kids probably not only own the Potter films, they've probably seen them enough times that they can tell you how each scene was shot and edited. But if you're over 18 and planning on seeing "Percy" on your own in a theater full of kids, and are a bit nervous about being labeled a Level Three sex offender, you might want to check out the "Potter" films in the privacy of your own home. That way at least you're not wrongly in jail when "Percy" hits home video in a few months.*

Instead of "The Wolfman", how about...

"An American Werewolf In London", "The Howling" or "Wolfen". It really has been quite some time since we have had a decent werewolf movie, 29 years to be precise. All three of these films came out in 1981, and all three handily beat Joe Johnston's $110 million misfire. With a mix of horror and comedy, both John Landis' "American Werewolf" and Joe Dante's "Howling" still manage to get both an occasional scare and many laughs, helped greatly by awesome makeup effects. Michael Wadleigh's "Wolfen" isn't really a werewolf movie per se, but it is an atmospheric horror film that deals with our furry four-legged friends.

Instead of "Avatar", how about...

A blank screen? Ha ha. Just kidding.

"District 9", "Star Trek" (2009), "Wall-E" or "Dances with Wolves"?

Now, none of these films are ones that people have overlooked (and one isn't even science-fiction), but they are all far better than James Cameron's bloated money-making epic. If you're looking for a sci-fi film that actually involves the viewer on some sort of emotional level to go with the kick-ass action and effects, then "District 9" and J.J. Abrams' kick-ass reboot of "Trek" more than do the trick. If you want an involving sci-fi film with a decent eco message attached to it, then check out Pixar's 2008 animated winner. And if you want to see what is basically the same story as "Avatar" without putting on 3-D glasses or enduring Cameron's tin ear for dialogue and cardboard characters, then check out Kevin Costner's 1990 masterpiece.  

*= obviously, I am just kidding.